Three days. Three long, miserable, and pathetic days. And no sign, word, or fucking tidbit of Soph.
On one hand, I have Kyle. Apparently she calls him. Occasionally.
I try calling her and get a busy signal. Every. Fucking. Time. Or no one answers for ten minutes.
Nothing.
I'm losing my FUCKING mind.
Nearly mauled some poor drunk idiot to death yesterday.
Can't focus for shit.
Didn't know she was going to her dad's till Kyle told me. Sunday night.
Nice.
Spent today confusing Audrey.
And making things hurt.
And staring at the blank computer screen.
...Sounds like my last two days.
Apparently, I'm scheduling my life around Soph.
Bullshit.
I've got nothing better to do. Keeps me out of trouble.
According to Kyle, I'm not in love, I'm obsessed. Nice. *kick in the head*
Also, Soph finds it scary. Thanks. *hurt*
Well. So, I'm an obsessed, scary 21 year old Canadian. How pleasant.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
THEN WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT!?
I love her. I do. And I miss her. Is that 'bad'? Am I not supposed to enjoy spending time with Soph more than I enjoy being alone? Is that the message?
*pauses to throw the beer bottle back at the idiot across the street and silently cheer when it knocks his dumb ass off his roof*
Well. Burned breakfast. Decided not to cook after that. Forgot. Couldn't focus.
*growls*
*temporarily blinded by tears of pain and frustration*
Went out yesterday, as mentioned earlier. Managed nothing but beating aforementioned drunk and spraining muscles in left leg, back, and neck.
Great.
Am mildly murderous.
No one around capable of soothing me, so I spent today at home.
As usual.
Hope we don't get a full moon before Soph gets back.
Well. Been a long time. A pity little ever seems to change around here. *sigh* why does it seem so hard to stay positive when Soph's not around?
*moans* My head feels like someone's working on the inside with a jackhammer.
*groans* And me back feels like I got a whack from a big train.
*growls irritably* and I'm irritable, frustrated to the point of near-insanity, and have the burning urge to leave one of my co-worker's mangled body hanging from the rafters by his intestines/testicles/shoelaces. Whichever becomes most convenient at the time.
*sighs* And I miss Soph. Sad. Only been two days since she went on her trip and already I feel the world starting to fall apart.
...I'm hopeless, arent I?
*Big-God-Voice-From-Somewhere-Over-Thataway*: Yes. Yes you are.
Tried to write. It came out as modernized Shakespeare, only without the humor.
Stayed well away from anything remotely alchoholic. Best, I thought.
Nearly punched my roomie's face into the back of his skull. Tempting, but not worth the criminal charges.
So, I've been working, sleeping, or sitting in front of my computer listening to whatever tunes I could find that weren't so depressing as to be unpleasant. Which, oddly, was only a couple.
...And now I'm sipping my third cup from my fourth pot of coffee, since I havn't slept more than four hours since Soph left. *sigh*
*sighs* Well, today has been one step up from a living hell. I'm worn, tired, sore, and... sadly lonely.
To make matters worse, no sign of Soph. Now, I can't really be mad at her, since she has a life of her own, which I've often told her to live for herself and just let me be there to experience it with her.
Of course, this doesn't make me feel any better. True, I feel bad that I want her to be on right bloody now, but... I do want her on. I miss her, dammit. And I could use someone to talk to who doesn't feel like they have the right to rip off my head if I complain about anything because then it takes the spotlight away from them.
*sighs, looks utterly wretched* I just... I love her. And... I miss her. I could use some company. But... she's busy, and I'm here alone. And heading to bed right away.
Soph, when you read this... don't feel bad. Don't feel guilty. Okay? It's not your fault, you didn't stay away like this on purpose, and you've got nothing to feel bad about.
...Of course, that won't stop you, will it. *smiles, hugs Soph* I love you. Always will. Just... take care, love. Sleep well and sweet dreams. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Bai! *waves*
Well. Today has been a miserable day. One of those 'should-have-just-slept-right-through-it' days. Went to work. Nearly got hit by ten different vehicles on about twenty five different occasions on the way.
Arrived at work. Worked eight hours, coming out with a headache, a sprained ankle, a back that doesn't want to hold me up right now, and the need to either kill something that would struggle, scream, then die... or spend some time with Soph.
Now, killing something was out of the question. Which leaves time with Soph.
Unfortunately, I got to spend a grand total of... about an hour with her today. Much of the rest of the time was waiting for her to finish with whatever else she was doing, or waiting for her to switch back to our conversation from her other conversations with who-knows-who-but-it's-certainly-not-my-business-so-I-never-asked.
Which means I spent about two hours staring at my monitor for no apparent reason.
And so, I am left with a headache, sprained ankle, and sore back. I didn't tell Soph about these little... problems of mine, as that would cause her to worry. So, of course, it's to be expected that she wouldn't pay me any undue amount of attention.
...Does it make me a greedy, selfish, or bad person to hope that she'd spend a little less time with them and more with me?
...Certainly feels like it does. *sigh*
I mean... I'm just the guy from Canada (whom she loves, of course) that she's known for all of a year. How does that compare to the friends she's had for... who knows how long?
...Yeah. Right.
Anyways.
*groans* Great, now I'm crying. Gawddamnit... this has just NOT been my day. Luckily, it's almost over.
Okay, so I'm overly miserable. I just wish I hadn't been right yesterday.
Spending christmas alone is not really a good way to go. Yeah, sure, I could have gone to the family lunch/dinner/party, but then I'd have still been miserable, because I would have been stuck with a buncha people I hardly know.
Looking back at me I see That I never really got it right I never stopped to think of you I'm always wrapped up in Things I cannnot win You are the antidote that gets me by Something strong Like a drug that gets me high
What I really meant to say Is I'm sorry for the way I am I never meant to be so cold to you
And I'm sorry about all the lies Maybe in a different light You could see me stand on my own again Cause now i can see You were the antidote that got me by Something strong like a drug that got me high I never meant to be so cold
I never really wanted you to see The screwed up side of me that I keep Locked inside of me so deep It always seems to get to me I never really wanted you to go So many things you should have known I guess for me theres just no hope I never meant to be so cold
You went trick or treating as Loki. Gilligan gave you TheSignOfIron. DerekFisher gave you AFishBiscuit. Agamemnon gave you SandArt. DavyJones gave you FriedChicken. You had a grotesque time until PeterPevensie turned off the power to the Velociraptor cage.
Well, Kitsy's gone to Newcastle for a while. So now I'm bored. Still, I hope she has a good time. And I'll be here when she gets back. And... yeah.
In any case, um... Dang, got nothing really to say. Probably why this hasn't been updated in a while. Work is boring and stressing and usually leaves me with a hell of a headache, but... not much I can do about that, so...
Honestly, I'm just posting for something to do. Bored outta my tree. Nothing happening aside frrom a few moments of hilarious stupidity by the people around me that are worth a few chuckles and a smack upside the head.
In other words... save MEEEEE!
Well, at least something should be happening in a few days... I hope.
*sighs* and Kitsy won't be on till late tonight, so I'm gonna be bored until then. Because I said so.
And what I say goes. Unless Kitsy says otherwise.
...Yeah.
Gods... I need coffee. And food. And... something. Maybe a decent book or something, half decent movie, anything!
Oh, hang on... Halo 2 should be up soon. Should go grab a good seat so I'm not trying to see what I'm doing from way the hell in the back... Yeah, that's what I'll do. Okay, so that's good for about three hours. Hmm...
...Damn. Forgot about that. Next week I'm getting hauled off to a wedding. Ugh. Now, it's 'ugh' mostly because I don't know most of the people that're gonna be there. Honestly. Someone save MEEEEEE!
Well, life is... interesting. In it's own, special way. In any event, been soothing myself with Kingdom Under Fire: Heroes and RPing with Kitsy.
*snuggles Kitsy* Love you!
Havn't posted here in a while. Mostly because I forgot I had this thing whenever I had the urge to write something. That, and... um... yeah. Anyways. I've been listening to InuYasha soundtrack lately. With subtitles. Yay. Mmm... too cheery, a lot of it, but... better than nothing. On another note, i love chocolate. But we knew that already. I hate my connection. It's getting twitchy. Might have something to do with the modem. Hmm...
Might be worth taking a look at.
In other news, they're rebuilding the local arena. Good. Now it won't be a hangout for druggies and homeless. Crime should go down.
Or that might be because the cops arrested most of those idiots for trying to sleep in there even with the 'do not enter' signs warning about that. Meh. Oh well, it certainly smells better over there.
French Vanilla flavored coffee: nectar of the Gods, or evil trap?
Both. Nectar of the EVIL Gods. Yesss... But it's too good. Gotta make more. Need to buy more, too. Well, might at well do that now, so I can return to getting those God Weapons in FFX. Bye!
Well, as stated above, Kitsy's back. And... her LJ was updated.
Worried the hell outta me.
Again, I mean.
Still, no permanent damage, just a few moments of panic that she's so... upset. Think she's better now, will ask her when she gets up. Sent her to bed, she stayed up till three am to catch me. Luckily, I'll be able to say good morning today, which always makes me and her feel better.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
vampyre_dante's journal
distressed
crappy
melancholy
contemplative
Loki. 
Gilligan gave you TheSignOfIron. 
DerekFisher gave you AFishBiscuit.
Agamemnon gave you SandArt.
DavyJones gave you FriedChicken.
turned off the power to the Velociraptor cage. 
mischievous
Missed Kitsy!
Mmm... COFFEE!
calm, which is good.
drowsy and restless. sense? no